My Sober Diary : Day 15 : Day 1
It is 2:42 AM as I write this. I woke up to let the puppy out. If nothing else, I am 100% honest with all of you and myself in these posts. I fucked up. I am disappointed in myself. But, I know I can overcome this and be sober. Be a better version of me, the authentic version of me.
I do not know why I allowed that first drink into my life, thinking it would be different this time.
I mean, I know from a purely physical perspective. It shuts down the hungry ghosts, turns off the amygdala but, that is temporary. Tomorrow it is all back with a vengeance. So, I have not solved anything. In fact, I have just created new problems.
I am not giving up. I will never give up. I love my wife and kids too much to give up but, I also need to learn to love myself enough not to give up. They say charity begins at home, and I think they mean it ultimately starts in one’s own heart. Thank you for all of your support; it means the world to me. I know I will overcome this, but wow, what a journey — what a path to walk. I wish I did not have to, but alas, I need to transform this pain into something positive, so I do not pass it on to the next generation.
Peace, love, and happiness to all of you.
